The Cellar Door

the beginning

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 21:54:49 -0500

the needle scratched the surface of the record. it was early, or rather, late. somewhere, my bed hadn’t been touched. ash from his joint fell slowly, softly, at odds with the blistering punk playing. the moments were slow motion portraits. my mind was snapping photos, imagining this as a sacred memory my future self would pick a part, or piece together depending on the mood. he was pretentious. someone an astute observer may call a bore with a beautiful facade. i didn’t mind. he was everything I wasn’t, and as he passed the joint I tried my best to let my hand linger in the crook of his thumb and forefinger. melting into his skin, hoping he felt the shock I intended. if he noticed sparks, it didn’t reach his eyes. I took a deep hit. holding the smoke in as gracefully as possible, i felt the high creep up my spine and seduce me. the back of my eyes became the last wall of defense, and i gave them over easily.

when I was young the night was a revelation. a home for my restlessness, and a novel rebellion. every so often, the mistakes would sheath me in dirty, suffocating fabric, like a canvas bag tied tight at the neck. the impurities trapped inside, poisoning my pure oxygen. unfamiliar territory I hadn’t known existed. how does everyone live these double lives? it would take only a few days to wash myself of the night, until cleanliness choked me with colorless, dull scraps of fabric, and i tired of it, seeking instead the darkness, a home I was ashamed to desire.

that is how I felt about robert.

ephemeral.

Sun, 11 Mar 2012 21:35:58 -0400

ephemeral.

"I’m just a shadow of your thoughts in me but sun is setting, shadows growing a long cast..."

Sun, 11 Dec 2011 20:17:13 -0500

“I’m just a shadow of your thoughts in me
but sun is setting, shadows growing
a long cast figure will turn into night
it’s like nothing in this world ever sleeps”

- The tallest man on earth

" come to the edge we can’t, we will fall! come to the edge we can’t, we are afraid! come..."

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:21:03 -0500

“” come to the edge
we can’t, we will fall!
come to the edge
we can’t, we are afraid!
come to the edge
and they came
and he pushed them
and they flew “”

"They never understood what happened. all logical thought became irrational and the blood of a..."

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 23:30:57 -0500

“They never understood what happened. all logical thought became irrational and the blood of a thousand cities rested on their broad shoulders. The end had come and it looked as though not a single human had guessed correctly. The genocide occurred at the hands of the thoughtful to rid the world of injustice but instead it left them with a feeling of unease and a sickness that burned like the depths of the sun and they could no longer bare the self imposed hatred. The only thing left was the destruction of the rest and one man left standing. He stated to no one, because the air was all that was left to listen, “Learn from the unforgiving nature of both sides for the righteous are not right and the opposite a mere distraction and lest the selfish ever rule again all are poised to receive the fates of our kind- so let the bloodied sewers be a testament to the frailty of human life and the end that must always come””

"Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend..."

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 12:03:20 -0400

““Don’t be afraid to be a fool. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes.””

- Stephen Colbert

Photo

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 14:09:00 -0400